Sunsets

I get a lot of eye rolls for my love of sunsets. For a girl that breaks just about every "girly" stereotype... I LOVE sunsets. Yes they are beautiful... but they are so much more than that. They are constant. They are always the same and yet different each day depending on where you see them from. I have seen sunsets in Arkansas from a big field that makes the sun look HUGE, on the lake with a beautiful reflection, in the mountains of colorado as it blinds me on the snow, from a rooftop parking garage in college and rooftop pavilion in Haiti, I have watched the sunset behind the smoke of wild fires in California and Oregon, on a long trek in New Zealand, temples in Thailand and Japan, and of course my personal favorite from the beaches of Haiti as it dances across the waves and sets behind the clouds of that days rain. Every single day the sun does the same thing... it does not change, it does not get smaller, larger, or brighter. And yet everyday it looks different.



As I enter into this season of life of missions I need these sunsets. When I tell people I am live in Haiti they immediately ask about safety, electricity, and other daily inconveniences. That is not the hard part. The hard part is the loneliness. I LOVE Haiti and I am so excited for what God has called me to do here... I am so thankful that I have never known the daily struggle of mental health disorders, but I have felt myself tip that way in my longer stints in Haiti. This starts to scare me... so I try to make myself busier, but that does not fix it... and it does not make my ministry more effective. As I process my trip in February I realize that the Lord was working and teaching me to embrace the loneliness and grieve that. He was asking me to realize that another country, culture, economy, and people is a beautiful thing, but that it creates a loneliness that very few other people understand. They don't understand my frustrations, they don't see the tears over the unfairness of life, and I can't ever really express that. I can't tell you all how I feel about so many things because it makes me appear jaded and prideful and hypocritical. I am all of those things, but that is not my heart behind my tears and frustrations. I know that is how it comes off because that is how it came off to me. How does this relate to sun sets? Stick with me I am getting there.

As sadness or joy, frustration or victories come I often crave to see a sunset. It is where I sit with the Lord and tell Him these things. I am reminded that the Son is like the sun. He is not moving or changing. He is the same at all times... but our heart, our culture, our circumstances change our view of him. He is there behind the stormy clouds of sickness and death and of how beautiful is a sunset just after the storm. He peaks through the clouds of loneliness, depression, defeat, guilt, and grief. He dances on the waters as we take a break to just sit with him in the sand or on a boat. He is BRIGHT as we watch Him from the highest mountain on a clear day of victories, celebration, and joy. He is there... and I have to remind myself that every light I see is because the Son in there. If I am in a valley with dark storm clouds the sun is still there and so is my God. I love that when the Son was crucified the Bible speaks of the earth going dark... that God hid the sun because He knew the LIGHT was hidden for a while as he went into war against SIN AND DEATH. Oh but we are so thankful that the victory was won and we no longer have to fear darkness because the Son is always there... even when we can not see Him.

So as I sit here watching my first sunset with Haiti as my primary residence I just take some time to sit with Him and talk to Him through my hopes, expectations, fears, and insecurities in this new life. I pray that I would appreciate the grace given to me as I navigate this new adventure and pray that my naive spirit would be diminished and my mistakes forgotten. I pray that His spirit and love is what people experience and remember, because I know I am not perfect... but I pray that He would choose to reflect His light off me to show others another "view" of himself. Please pray WITH me that I would sit with Him often enough and long enough to only do what He has called me to do here. Also I ask that you pray FOR me that I would either meet others that I can connect with during this transition and/or experience His love and completeness in a way that overcomes my loneliness and insecurities.

^Live Foolishly
Rachel

Yo Kapab (they can)

Today was a special day, an amazing day. We are taking 8 students (3rd year PT and OT students) to the local “public” hospital this week and next. We have primarily worked with 4 patients during these two days. One patient is an older gentleman, we will call him Jean, whom suffered a gunshot wound. Following the students' initial evaluation the patient was found to have no movement below the waist and post op abdominal surgery. The surgeon came in shortly after and kindly spoke with us about the patient. When he and I were talking he said to me “I don’t think he needs to be here (ortho floor) anymore, I think he should transfer to neuro bc maybe he has a spinal cord injury from the gunshot but we don’t know.” Long story short we went in and sat the patient as the edge of the bed for the first time after his surgery 10 days ago and he was a little dizzy and VERY weak. He had not moved fromlaying on his back, however the nurses had done a good job of preventing pressure sores/ulcers.

When we came in the next morning we were informed that the patient was being discharged. The family had not been taught ANYTHING. No positioning, no transfers, no catheter changes, no infection precautions. NOTHING. So we began to work with the students on educating the family and getting the family involved in transfers and planned to teach the family to transfer Jean to a wheelchair (even though they did not have the money to purchase one) and some other basic spinal cord injury education. We started to discuss it and they were talking about how surgeons get tunnel visioned on their one issue and will sometimes discharge patients not understanding everything. I voiced what he had said to me and then the ball started to roll….

The nurses called the doctor and he confirmed that he did feel he needed to be transferred to the neuro unit but that the doctor on call would have to make that decision. When the doctor arrived he “conferenced” with one of our PT students and a nursing student that had been fantastic in caring for the patient as well (the photo above). They advocated for the patient and the doctor AGREED that the patient should stay on the neuro unit. They also talked to the director and he interviewed the family to determine if they needed a wheelchair without paying. The option also came up for him to go to an inpatient rehab center, which is still in progress as to if that will happen.

I was amazed and started to tear up thinking how these students are changing this country starting with that man. They are doing it respectfully and dignified. They are doing it by working TOGETHER as a healthcare TEAM. They are doing it because they care about their patients. It is a long road ahead, but THEY ARE DOING IT!!! I was so proud to be part of FSRL/FSIL today. That man would have likely laid in a bed at his home, never moving, and had no quality of life if these students (PT/OT/nursing) were not there. He would have likely died in the next 3-6 months due to wound infection, pressure sores, pneumonia, or some other related illness secondary to his apparent spinal cord injury…. But now he will have some time and physical/occupational therapy to live a better quality and more dignified life. This profession of physical therapy that I get to call a job will always give me pride because I get to watch peoples lives change. Because I beleive that quality of life is as important to a person as actual life.

Today was refreshing and I am so excited to see rehab professions become a more common part of the healthcare team as it demonstrates progress in Haiti from pure survival to giving quality of life to the patient and family through respect, dignity, and improving independence.

^Live Foolishly
Rachel

Lessons from the Blan

So here in Haiti they call white people Blan. I could be spelling that wrong since I am just going from how I hear it and my creole (kreyol) phonetics have (lots) to be desired.  The word is more of an adjective, it can be a kind description or derogatory depending on how it is used. But one way it is used is to describe someone that does not fit into Haiti. So when you act really new and "white" you are really blan and as you get more into the flow of the culture they begin to call you "Haitian". Well lets just say I am for sure very "blan" at the time.
This blan has learned a lot over the last two weeks, unfortunately kreyol has not been one of them.

• I have learned to where shorts under my dress when riding a moto... because I am blan when I get off and have not figured out a way to get off without "stretching my groin muscles" 
• I have learned that when there is electricity... bring a flashlight into the bathroom when showering... (oh and maybe have a bucket of water in case the well runs out of water while you are in there.
• There is a lot you can get done in two hours when you know its the only 2 hours you will have electricity. I think this is a great motivator and creates some efficiency... especially in procrastinators
• Those Yeti coolers do not last 4 days in the Haitian heat with ice
• Ants can actually eat through and dig up the grout between floor tiles. And they find everything... even the things I cant see. 
• I am going to need to buy some Fans and figure out a way to get them here (not so much because I am hot... because I can't sleep with mosquito buzzing in my ear. I have the fortune of not really being allergic... I itch for 10-15 min. But they just find a way to pester EVERYONE. 
• Cockroaches have more will to live than I do. Seriously I have to hit them like 2-3 times before they actually die. One of them made it about 20 feet After I smashed the guts. 

Ok so yes these are all 3rd world living lessons, but... I love the fresh air every morning on the moto and the way everyone greats each other. The streets are busy with people and they know each other. No electricity can be frustrating, but I have learned there is nothing I can do about it... and maybe God did that on purpose. Maybe he wanted us to relax more, talk more, be present more. You can do some things with just fire at night... you can talk to others and play with kids, you can read, you can eat. You can not watch TV, you can not write emails, many "chores" are too inconvenient. I have learned to take advantage of this time. 7:00 is too early for me to go to bed, one day when I am more comfortable this time will be great for visiting with neighbors. But right now I read, I spend intentional time in prayer, I just relax. It is truly wonderful. When there are a bunch of dishes left and I know that means there will be ants... its hard to relax but I am learning the beauty of darkness.


I have had more experiences than I expected as well.

• My first week here was the HEALTH FAIR: I love the week of the health fair. I get to learn so much from therapist that have been working here for years. My favorite thing this year was the moms. I have worked with special needs kids two previous times and each time I was asked if I would just take their child by at least one mother. NOT THIS TIME. This time many of the moms were on the floor talking, playing, touching, and loving there child. It give me tears and goosebumps as I write it. These therapist and other advocates of special needs children are teaching these moms to love and give dignity to their children. There is a ways to go in the country, but it needs to start with the families. 
• Staying with a friend: I stayed with a friend in Port Au Prince last weekend. It was actually the whole family. It was a great time. I went to market with the sister/aunt and they speak very little English and I speak very little Kreyol. So we waded our way through the market and got stared at by everyone. I stopped at one point to try to point to something I wanted but didn't want the people selling to see me pointing. Literally all 16 surrounding booths were staring at me. I just started laughing and let it be. It really was a lot of fun and the family was great even if there was minimal verbal communication between some of us. 
• Pickliz: I made pickliz and had it with fried plantains just about every day this week. It was fantastic... but I made too much and probably some is going to go bad. But maybe not its pickled so it may last a while. The biggest win for me was the fact that I did not get sick which means I cleaned things well enough. 
• Moto Rides: I have successfully taken the moto for a week to and from work at the school. I am unable how ever to call the moto to pick me up. So I still rely on a friend to do that for me. Once I even got ice and got it back to the house on the moto... it was about 1/4 of a mile and one bag... but baby steps. 
• Teaching: I taught the second year students adaptive equipment this week. Although teaching is not my thing we did it in a more discussion format and I think it went quite well. I think this is one course that is very important for the therapist here is Haiti to teach as they are able to make and use creative techniques for equipment and teaching the technology we have in America is not the most beneficial. 

It has been a whirlwind, and it has really stretched this introvert to the point where I just want to lay down in a puddle a cry. But there are people that are major answers to prayers in this transition. I have overcome some silly fears and am learning daily the strength in dependence. I think a lot of my pride rides on my ability to be independent. One of my prayers for years has been that the Lord would deal with my pride so that I could love him and others better. Right now I have to depend on others for everything day to day. I have to depend on my friend to call the moto driver. I have to depend on the moto driver to pick me up. I have to depend on the family that I am renting from to allow me to charge batteries, refill water, get things from market, set up people to help me around the house, take me to church, and just help me navigate expat life here in Haiti. It's a very uncomfortable position to be in for me. I am used to serving others not needing from others. It makes me feel like a burden and I just don't like it. But I am learning... I am learning how you help someone can give them worth or take it away. I am learning how to be great-full and not always think that others expect something in return. I am learning the importance of relationship with those that help you and you help to decrease the feeling of burden on each other. These lessons are important for me now and as I increase my own independence here I hope that I will remember these as I am able to help others.


Please keep in touch I love hearing from people back home. If you are reading this and did not get my snail mail newsletter please let me know. I would love to get you on the mailing list.

^Life Foolishly

Rachel

To the Team

This post will be updated weekly with prayer request. To those of you that have fought on the front lines in prayer for myself, my ministry and all God is doing in Haiti... you are awesome. I learn daily the importance of prayer for my connection to the Lord and what he is doing in and through me but also in my connection and love for those that serve me and those I serve. I am able to do what I do because of you.  Whether or not we know each other well I want to say thank you! This journey of missions and transitioning from a first world culture to a third world culture is hard. Knowing I have support from so many makes the journey so worth it.

If you are new to the team here is the ask for prayer... we are a team. I have asked everyone that is part of my team to set their alarm for 9:25 am or pm. This comes from John 9:2-5 and John 9:25.

I have kept a prayer journal in the past and think it is such an amazing way to watch what how God demonstrates his love through relationship that prayer gives us. This is sometimes demonstrated through answered prayers, and sometimes through unanswered prayers or just "no" to prayers. I have experienced God through all of these and one thing I know is that in every scenario I have developed a more intimate understanding of his love for me as well as all of his children. I am going to put my prayers below and as they are answered or not I will update it with a little explanation.

• Language learning
• Administrative duties at school
• Lead teacher for Rehab position
• Car/transportation

The today's are hard

During this time of transition and unknowns I am learning daily to appreciate today and that they each hold their hardships and their happiness. I'm learning how to trust God with everything. Today is hard. Not bad, just a hard day to live this transition, it is actually hard because of the happiness and sense of purpose I feel in the now. I had a conversation with a parent of one of my patients that asked me "the Lord is using you in what you are doing here and I want you to continue to treat my child.... do you have to go to Haiti?" When she asked she didn't mean it. She understands my heart and loves Jesus so she understands the adventure He has called me to in Haiti. I am going to be honest though there are times that I wish I could undo Haiti. Sometimes I wish I could tell myself at Passion 2013: don't go... this is going to make things sooo complicated for the rest of your life. After that first trip in 2013... there has been no choice in my spirit to avoid Haiti. I know that I am called now and I WANT to go. I really do, I am so excited and sometimes I want to leave tomorrow... but I also want to be here. I meet so many missionaries that tell me that they knew they were called to missions because they felt uneasy in America and that they felt no purpose here. I don't feel that way.

Another parent with a child with multiple "hidden disabilities" told me at least 10 times throughout the hour session today that our clinic has been the best thing for her and her child since everything started. She has been to six clinics and she never felt that someone cared and advocated for her child or was there to help her through the process. She does now and she told me that she feels that there is hope for him to improve for the first time since he was in pre-school. That is purpose... that is God letting me know that He is working through me in America and he will in Haiti... that was hard because I know that I am going to leave that child. I had to fight the tears in that moment. I know that he will continue to receive services and support at the clinic, but therapy has improved his and his families quality of life. I have been part of that. I really hate leaving my patients. My job is not just a job, I love my kiddos... I spend a lot of time talking about and learning about the kids I treat. I love what I do, I wouldn't change what I do for any other career. I love where I work and that I get to come alongside parents that are in their own crisis and be there... I cannot always fix it, but I can always be there. I am in the transition of giving this up... trusting that God will care for them in my absence.

Now I sit in my bed listening to Haitian music and trying to decide on a departure date as well as a budget. I have spent multiple hours trying to figure out living situation, car, dog, and budgets with a Haitian friend. I want to be there... I want to eat pikliz and plantains, I want to see my friends, I want to be working with Janet and seeing how the Lord uses my time there, I want to be serving with and learning from the other therapist that are living in Haiti. I want to be there... but I am not. "There" also brings anxieties that I have never really lived with. I am anxious about living in a culture that is unknown to me, anxious about learning a new language, anxious about where I will live, and anxious about best choice for transportation. 

This transition is hard. This transition is good. This transition is sad. This transition as well as my life is the Lords'. I believe that, but sometimes it's hard to trust that today is enough, accept that I can not fix the future, and as bad as I would like to live my life in Haiti and America simultaneously... I can't. So I ask for your prayers in this transition. Also if you would like to receive updates (that will not be posted on this blog) please send me your physical address. I will be trying to send an email/blog update every month that I am in Haiti and 3-4 update letters throughout the year. My blog and emails will be the same but the letters will be different. You can send your information to my email... rachelptinhaiti@gmail.com. I hope to hear from everyone and if you ever want to just send a note of encouragement that is always welcome :) 

Prayer Request: 

• Relationships: I am praying that in the coming year the Lord blesses me richly in relationships with Haitians and Americans in Haiti and America. 
• Language: That the Lord would give me the gift of tongues or at least an ability beyond understanding to learn and apply to conversations. 
• Direction:  That I will be constantly listening for the small voice of the lord and adjusting course accordingly but that I will rest and be content in the stillness when there is no obvious direction.
• Protection of my heart: That as I spend more time in Haiti I would not become callous to the poverty or hurt no matter what may be done to me. That my heart would continue to break for the things that break the Lords heart 

^Live foolishly

Love God...Do what you want

This post has been difficult for me. I have chosen to not go to France at this time. There are multiple factors that played into this decision. One question that I was asked and I had to wrestle with before considering not going to France was "did I hear God wrong" or "Is God changing His plan". In praying and fasting through this I think the answer to both of these questions is simply no. I think I could remain faithful to God and go to France for language school in preparation for Haiti. But I also have peace that I can remain faithful to God and slowly move directly to Haiti to see where the next step is over the next year. I remember a podcast I listened to by Levi Lusko (great podcast if you are looking for a sermon podcast to listen to) in which he was speaking to God's plan for our lives. It was YEARS ago that I listened to it, so what I remember could be very different than what he actually said. It was something to the like of "love God and do what you want". His point was that we don't have to find the one thing God has called us to do and if we somehow miss it our lives are trash or spent trying to get back to His path. Rather we prayerfully seek the Lord, read and obey His Word, and then act in accordance to His word.

Why Haiti First

Learn the ministry expectations
The plan (at this time) is to spend 5-6 months in 6-10 week intervals in Haiti during 2018. During my time in Haiti I will be working with the PT/OT school in Leogane that I taught at in May to see if it is a good fit for a more longterm position that I could do while also working in a clinical setting. Janet (the current dean of the school) has agreed to allow me to spend 3-4 hours/day learning language and will also allow me to do some of the translation of PowerPoints as I become more comfortable with the language. I am hoping that during weekends I will have time to travel and spend the time more immersed in Haitian culture to learn Kreyol, the culture and build relationships. This is likely a bad idea as I will be learning two, similar but also different, languages at the same time. But being able to communicate with the people as well as speak French at the school are both important. The rest of my time will be spent in a more administrative role, helping to organize and streamline some documents and processes to allow for consistency for the students, staff, and professors in the coming years. This role will be quite fluid as Janet currently does everything and we will be working together to delineate the role of "dean" verse the role of "PT/OT program coordinator". I think having 5-6 months in country with Janet will be very helpful in the process and understanding what will be needed and determining if I need further training or language school before moving full time. The (tentative) plan is to go February 15-March 30 the first time and then Middle of May to end of June and then plan to go again for all of September until the first week of November.

Raising support
I say plan because I may attend language school or a discipleship school starting in August if the Lord leads in that way. In taking this "intermediate year" I feel the Lord asking me to just slow down and take a more relational approach to life. I am a productive introvert and I thrive in being too busy. I enjoy "fixing" things and doing my work well. This is not wrong, but I allow it to become more important than relationships with others because it is easier and less stressful for me than creating relationships. That is not that I don't care about people, it is that I need to learn and practice how to do that better. Over the last year that was one of my goals, but I allowed myself to become overly busy again and my main place for spiritual relationships, my community group, dissolved to join/start other groups. This was really hard for me and the first thing that made me question if I was ready to leave into the mission field long term. I realized in loosing that, that I lacked deep relationships with others in my church body. I say this because over the next year I feel the Lord is challenging me to create a support network, and I am asking the Church to be active in this. I know that a missionary asking for support scares many away because you feel like you will be guilted into giving Financially. At this time I am able to be self supported as I will be working part time when I am back home. Each trip will cost 2,000-3,000 dollars, but I had been saving up to be able to attend language school self supported which was suppose to be 15,000-20,000 for the year. Over the next year my hope is to build relationships with organizations/ministries in the area that are also involved in Haiti or rehabilitation in a developing country as well as build individual relationships with others that have a heart to reach the nations for Jesus by supporting me spiritually and emotionally.

Family 
There have been multiple family trials during the course of 2017. Some are not my drama to share, but one that I can share is that my nephew was diagnosed with leukemia. I had planned on taking October 28th to fast, pray, and make a final decision about going to France or not. That morning my brother texted us that his 2-year-old had been diagnosed with cancer. I think at that time it was just confirmation (along with multiple conversations I had in the previous week with others in regards to my decision) that being able to be around and spend more time there (Oklahoma) with my brother and family as well as my family that lives here in Arkansas was also an important ministry of this interim year.

The biggest confirmation for me in all of this is the peace I have with this decision when in conversation with Jesus. There is some sadness.  I am sad that I will not get to attend language school with the two families that had been quite helpful in this journey over the last year. I am so thankful for them and am sad that I will not have the time to spend with them there during the year and learning from them. I know that God has big things for them and I am so excited to see how he uses all 11 of them to be kingdom changers in their area of influence.
Mainly I am excited... a part of my heart and soul lives in Haiti. I have longed to be there for years now and the unexpected change of getting to be there sooner just has me excited. I have so many expectations for this year and yet have no idea what to expect. My belief that the Lord has called me to Haiti first and foremost to show me His love for me is still true. I am always amazed how the Lord blesses me through His relationship with others and vice versa but always seems to make the personal relationship with each of his disciples the focus point of all He does. The beautiful truth in this is that no matter where I go or where you go this will always be his number one mission in our life. I just pray and hope that others will see how much he loves each person through my words and actions where ever I am and that this leads to their own life change and eternity with the Lord.

Prayer Request

• Relationships: I am praying that in the coming year the Lord blesses me richly in relationships with Haitians and Americans in Haiti and America. 
• Language: That the Lord would give me the gift of tongues or at least an ability beyond understanding to learn and apply to conversations. 
• Nephew: The last 3 weeks have been difficult for my nephew and all the family. Prayers for some healthy, happy, and fun days ahead in the midst of what seems to be a hopeless situation. 
• Direction:  That I will be constantly listening for the small voice of the lord and adjusting course accordingly but that I will rest and be content in the stillness when there is no obvious direction.
• Family: There have been many trials and life changes for immediate and extended family. Prayers that everyone would cling to the truth of the Lord and that He would give peace past understanding. 

It is setting in

There are a few events in life that don't quite seem real until they have happened and even then it does not quite settle in for a while. That is how this whole process of moving to France/Haiti has felt to me. I knew it was going to happen, but I didn't really believe it. It interesting really, I think what has changed has been my heart to learn another language. I truly believe it is an answered prayer as well.

I'm a nerd. There is no getting around that and I take no offense to it. I never really cheated in school, especially not on test. There was two reasons for this 1) I wanted to see if I learned the material 2) I am a nerd and I was quite certain no one else knew the material better than I did. It is also a major distraction to attempt to cheat during a test in my opinion. There is one exception to this no cheating thing... yep my foreign language class. My high school required 2 years of it and I decided Spanish because it's the most common language in America and I was NEVER living anywhere but America. But I had no care to learn high school level one or two Spanish, and both of my teachers made it quite easy to cheat. So I did. I am not proud of this, I don't think it is okay in hindsight, I am just letting you know my total ignorance and apathy to knowing a second language. I am writing this blog because I ham excited about (hopefully) understanding French and Creole in the future and wishing that I could be fluent in more languages.

I think for me this is also confirmation that the Lord is preparing me to learn. I believe moving to Haiti is something He is asking me to do and so I believe that as I ask him to give me the ability to learn he will. This is not how I have felt until very recently. The thought of learning another language has been VERY scary to me.... Did I mention I am a nerd. Well another character flaw that comes with that for me is pride. I don't fail with scholastic things. I love chemistry and physics and math because I can understand ideas and solve problems that is VERY difficult for the majority of the population. English though.... Right now I have 14 red squiggly (make that 15) lines because I don't understand the simple spelling and grammatical rules of my first and only language. 26 years has not been enough practice, the thought of trying to learn another language in one, or two, or three years is impossible to me. That is why my biggest prayer in this preparation phase has nothing to do with money, or safety, or logistics, or (insert everyones concerns here)... it is my ability to communicate with the people He has asked me to serve. In order to communicate the most important things I must speak a language they can understand, but he is reminding me that He loves them more... He loves me more. He is providing what I need. He is working the impossible to demonstrate His power through me. I just have to continue to answer "Here am I, send me." These are the sobering lessons, the lessons that break my pride and remind me that it is not about what I can do for the people of Haiti, but what God wants to do for me, my heart, the people of Haiti, and their hearts. He is not asking me to fix Haiti, he is asking me to do what he has asked me to do for the last 20 years... love God, love others. He has just asked me to do that in Haiti for a time. He is asking me to continue to trust the Peace He provides in every surreal transition in life. And that is what I will do... I will adventure with Him where ever He ask me to go, with what ever He ask me to do because He has proven His love for me first and so I love Him.

^ Live Foolishly

Rachel

New Adventures Start January 8, 2018!!!!

Well its official... 1) I am accepted into French language school and will be attending January 8- December 21, 2018. 2) I have officially taught a section of a college level physical therapy course... and it went much better than I expected.

I found out about 2 months ago that I was accepted to language school, but got all the official acceptance papers about 2 weeks ago... on May 15. The two couples that I heard about the school from have also officially been accepted :) I am super excited for this opportunity but in all honesty I am very nervous. I still am trying to figure out the English language, so the thought of learning two additional languages in the next two years is just daunting. I have decided to spend this year focused on physical therapy related terms as many of them are very similar to the english version because they are often based in Latin. Also this is an area that will not be covered at the school since not everyone will be a medical professional. This way I might be able to take the French board examination and do some volunteer work as a physiotherapist in France. Unfortunately due to the type of visa I will have I will not be able to work, but that probably good for me as I am really good at making myself too busy.
Speaking of trying to do more than I need to do, can I be real honest for a second? Ok so maybe I am going to be honest even if you don't want to hear it. I questioned this going to France this a lot while I was in Haiti this last time. I loved what I did in Haiti, I loved the students, I loved the idea of working on the campus, I almost kinda loved teaching. There was and still is a part of me that just wants to go to Haiti, I think it is because I feel needed there. I am not needed in France, I know without a doubt that the Lord WANTS me in France, but no one NEEDS me there. I like to feel needed, but it is such a dangerous desire to chase, especially in missions. As I begin to label myself as an ambassador of Christ to the Nations I need to put that desire away. I need to be even more diligent to point those that I have the opportunity to serve to Christ as their provider, healer, and Lord instead of me. Because I will mess up or leave and if they need me more than Him, I have failed in everything I am doing. So all that to say I am excited about France, I am excited to have a change of pace and a whole year surrounded by other missionaries preparing to go to the nations through language school. I am excited that there will be 6 people from our church at the school, and two of them are women of the Lord that not only can I follow them as they follow Christ, but that I can also share my fears and insecurities as I begin this new adventure with Jesus. So yes I am nervous, yes there is a part of me that just wants to forget I ever thought about missions, yes sometimes I just want to be comfortable. But... but my life is not my own. As much as I would like to pretend that I could just stay where I am (which I love) I can't. That would be disobedience, when I accepted Christ and have taken this journey, this adventure of life with Him as my Lord I agreed to surrender my life to Him. Now please don't read this as me not wanting to go, I want to go. I know that the Lord has amazing things to teach me, I know that although he doesn't need me in France or Haiti, he wants me there. I know that he is answering a prayer I have prayed for over two years... A prayer to take me on an adventure, that my life would not ever feel mundane, but that I would be ready and willing to follow Him into the crazy and uncomfortable. I love the Haitian people, every time I go I get more excited for the time that I get to live there. But here, here I am blessed as well. I love that it is going to be hard to leave. I love that I have a family, a church, a community group, and a job with co-workers and patients that will be hard to leave. Jesus has been faithful in these two years while I have been in Arkansas and it makes me even more confident that he will be faithful as I continue this adventure with Him in another country and another language.

Prayer Request

• That I would be able to learn the language and be able to make the sounds needed to speak French and then Creole fluently: I know this seems like a weird request, but I have been trying to learn some basics while in Haiti and some of the sounds I just don't understand how to do it. You know the people who say "tree" instead of "three" well there are lots of sounds that I say very wrong and I really want to be able to learn how to make those sounds correctly. 
• The PT school: I got to talk more to the acting dean for the school this time about what my role would be. There are many possibilities but at this point it is understandably difficult to say exactly what that would look like since it is about 18 months away and lots can change in that time. She does still seem interested in me having a more permanent position at the school while also understanding my heart to train Haitians in the clinic. This is promising, and just praying for direction for both of us. 
• Clinic partnerships: As I move forward in preparation to move to Haiti I need to find organizations or individuals who would be interested in helping to start and fund a Physical Therapy Clinic. I would really like to have an idea of where/when the first one will be by the time I leave for France, so that during that year my friend in Haiti can help me locate housing and materials for the clinic in that area. 
• Preparation Trip: There should be a trip to Haiti with at least 2 of the Pastors from Fellowship and possible some other people that are interested in going to kind of vision where and how to best serve the Haitian people through rehabilitation services. 
• VISA Process: I need to start the VISA process at the beginning of October, but need to get all the information and documents put together prior to that. That will be a very busy time as I transition out from my current job, and will be the clinical instructor of a PT student, and in the final stages of a move over seas. I am just trying to prioritize things so that there is no "emergencies" towards the end.
• Take time to prepare: This one is hard. Even though I move in 7 months it seems so far away because of the responsibilities in life right now. Please don't think that is a complaint, I love my job and I don't want to leave earlier than I need to. I just need to begin to prioritize a time focused on preparing the next steps. I don't know what this will look like yet but praying that I would see this time as a good stewardship of my time instead of something I can push off until tomorrow. 
• Prayer Preparation: I also ask that you would come along side me and pray for the Lord to prepare the people and organizations I will have the opportunity to work with in Haiti. That I would have a spiritually discerning heart as I choose my "team" in Haiti. That the Lord would work prior to me coming to mature Haitians in Christ so that I would have a group of people that spur me on in the Lord and can also do the Lords work of making disciples through rehabilitation. 

^^ Live Foolishly

Haiti by way of France

About a month ago a team came to talk to our community group to raise support and share their vision. One aspect of their plan/vision is to attend language school in France next year (2018). That night in the first 5 minutes of my drive home I felt God just kind of whisper to me that I would go to French language school. I checked when I would need to be in Haiti to teach pediatrics and take students for the first class and then realized I would need to attend language school at the same time as the other mission team (January 2018-December 2018)... so as is typical for me I started looking into it.
The issue at the time was that I was planning on supporting one of my Haitian friends through school here in the States, but his transcripts were never delivered and so we could not finish the application process for school. Over the next two weeks as I prayed over the two options I felt strongly that he was calling me to language school, so that I could teach the students in the PT/OT programs in French, which is the official language for education in Haiti. I began to see God put all the pieces together, the desires, the plans, the financials. After praying over it I asked my missions pastor to meet. I wanted to get wise advice on the plans I felt God had laid out before me on whether or not the church leadership I choose to submit to would be able to spiritually support and back where the Lord was leading me. After two separate meetings I felt even more confident that this was the adventure Jesus had asked me to take with him. I am now in the process of applying for the French language school, so there is still a chance that I will not be accepted or that the term will be filled as they maintain very small class sizes. I am confident that this will not be the case. This is the first time I have had peace and confirmation in my many "ideas" for missions.

"My plan for your life is unfolding before you. Sometimes the road you are traveling seems blocked, or it opens up so painfully slowly that you must hold yourself back. Then, when time is right, the way before you suddenly clears—through no effort of your own. What you have longed for and worked for I present to you freely, as pure gift. You feel awed by the ease with which I operate in the world, and you glimpse My Power and My Glory.

Do not fear your weakness, for it is the stage on which My Power and Glory perform most brilliantly. As you persevere along the path I have prepared for you, depending on My strength to sustain you, expect to see miracles—and you will. Miracles are not always visible to the naked eye, but those who live by faith can see them clearly. Living by faith, rather than sight, enables you to see My Glory"

Jesus Calling December 21

"Failed" Missionary Ideas...

• Move to Haiti in September 2016 to do more administrative role in PT school
• TIMO program with African Inland Mission
• PATMOS reality discipleship
• Saudi Arabia as a PT
• Start an orphanage in Africa (this one makes me cringe a little now, but I was young and naive)
• MOH Internship
• Special needs missions in Uganda

I don't list these because I actually believe they were failures. I list these because these are all the opportunities that were before me that I felt the Lord say "no", "not yet", or I just did not have peace with. The only one I still feet the Lord MIGHT be calling me to is PATMOS discipleship program. When would be a big question, but I just still feel the Lord saying "not yet" but not "no" for that one. These opportunities are what grabbed my attention as I read this devotional. I have waited for years. Not patiently, but none the less I have waited. I have tried to convince myself that He is calling me to do something, but could never convince myself well enough to actually take action steps. There was also resistance in my heart and so in the end I waited.

I'm not going to lie, reading Jesus calling sometimes feels like the Christian "horoscopes". But this time I felt like every word was one more confirmation from the Lord because He knows that right now my mind is a bit anxious and starting to self doubt. Not doubting what the Lord can do, but if he really wants to take me on such an adventure. But every time I question he brings people, verses, or a devotional that give me confirmation. Just a quite voice and peace in the midst of chaos of life changing plans. The certainty and clarity of what he is calling me to do makes me feel like this has been planned for years, but in reality it all just fell into place in the last month. Then, when time is right, the way before you suddenly clears—through no effort of your own. Although I don't know exactly where or who I will be working with, watching what has been laid out in the last month and the confidence of my church leadership in the plans the Lord has given me has put me at ease for future plans.

There are still a number of question marks and yet to be made plans that I ask you to pray with me about. 

1) That I would be accepted into the French Language School

2) Friendships that are being made with the other 5 adults (and 7 kids) that are attending the language school from our church.

For the short term trips I go on this year... 

3) One of the biggest concerns of my church leadership that I totally agree with is that I am basically going into Haiti "alone". This is obviously not the biblical model. It can be done, but I am really praying to meet like minded rehab professionals prior to moving to Haiti. The first opportunity was this past September when I went with STAND. I met a pediatric OT that lives in the country, she connected me with another therapist that is having a health fair for special needs children in February. I am going to help in February, mainly to assist in the health fair, but I am also very excited to meet other rehab profession missionaries living in Haiti. 

4) There is very tentative and early workings of a short term trip with one of the pastors from my church who has been very involved with a organization that has been working in Haiti for ~10 years now (help one now). This would be a trip where I would get to meet one/some of the Haitian community leaders that have partnered with this organization and hear how/where they feel rehabilitation would best serve the people of Haiti. 

5) Mission of Hope Partnership: I finally got the courage to email Mission of Hope and am also in the early phases of building a partnership with them to start a PT clinic for the amputees and communities that they serve. 

6) Raising Support: I thought I had financials all figured out (I could just save the money and come back to work as needed), but after talking with the pastors I realize that I also should raise support. After praying through it more over the last couple of weeks I realize that although it is breaking down my pride God wants to teach me through the year of preparation ahead of me and part of that is raising support and connecting with people who can see how God is moving through this opportunity. I will still be saving through this year and spending wisely, but I just have this peace and assurance that God wants to teach me something through raising support. I am excited for the lessons and relationships whether I raise $100 or $100,000. 

7) Leaving my current job: I currently work for my mother, which is way better than I ever imagined it would be. I have learned so much in the last year by working and living with her. It's nice as a new grad PT to live with a therapist that has 30+ years of experience and knows every one of your patients. I also have fallen in love with some of my patients and families. Leaving them will be one of the hardest parts about moving. 

Live Foolishly

^Rachel 

I can't do this

It has been a LONG time since I posted a blog (I have multiple drafts that I don't feel ready to share) but I have come to realize that my blog post are the times where God is working through a specific struggle or situation to increase my faith. I feel this blog has from beginning to end shown my increase in step length (maturity) in faith. So this is another step of faith that I am ready to take, it is not a leap, I don't feel God ever expects me to leap. I think he expects me to grow up so that my steps are longer as I know him and his characteristics more personally.

After my last trip to Haiti I felt like the next time I went would be either for vacation (I mean it is beautiful there) or to work in training Haitians to work in rehabilitation. I had some very ambitious ideas, but have been looking for other organizations to work with that provide therapy services and that might be able to support me personelle wise in training Haitians to provide rehab services. The huge shift in missions in the recent years has been the desire to not always be long term,  but to have long term effects on a group of people and the economic of that country. I feel that providing rehab services would be a great way to be effective in both of those areas. 

So now fast forward to well yesterday... I had found a website through one of my many searches that took me to a newly developed PT school in Haiti. I came to find out that this is the FIRST accredited PT program in Haiti, and that there are only 24 Haitian PTs in the country at this time.  ONLY 24!!! We have more than 24 pediatric PTs in NW Arkansas.... imagine if that were the extent of trained rehab professionals in America. That would mean that there were 6 PTs in Arkansas or 50 in Florida... and we feel that we are spread thin as PTs here in the States. Ok sorry I got a bit off track there, but I just did not realize the need until I saw that number. (Also each of the 24 therapist were trained outside of Haiti.)..............SOOOOOO I sent an email to their director and dean saying that I would love to be a clinical instructor, and asking how that would work. I was expecting an answer in a couple weeks that would either give me a go to find a site or not. WELLL the response asked if I was interested in becomig the department head of the program starting in September. So basically I would be one of the faculty responsible to the ultimate education of EVERY PT TRAINED IN HAITI. My response was that I am 1 year out of school and not in anyway prepared for the position, but that I would be willing to discuss it.... now that is were I am going to leave the technical aspect of what is happening (because that is literally all I know as of right now, I will update when I know more).

Let's switch to were my mind went right away when I read that email that said I might be moving to Haiti in a couple months... Jesus... and a prayer I have prayed for over a year now. My prayer was this 

Lord, I have had every aspect of my life planned years in advance. I want to live a life that is foolish and spontaneous but that is always one step behind you. I want to work "too hard" when you are calling me to that and I want to rest when you say to be still. But I want to adventure with you. I want to Go when you say GO!. I don't want to ask too many questions, I want to be willing and be a servant that you know will be obedient. Make me obedient to your words and your direction. 

So when I got the e-mail I laughed... first because I thought it was ridiculous and could never happen... I was suppose to graduate 2 months ago. I should not even be a licensed PT right now. But then I heard...

"but you are. You have told everyone you believe that you were put in the dual admit program because I wanted you to be. That many odds were against you, but every detail was worked out and you finished the fast track program just as planned*. Seek Me I will tell you if this is that reason but remember that you have prayed Bold prayers. I love those prayers of faith, love, and obedience, but I also require action."

*planned refers to one of those way in advance plans I had that had worked out just perfectly. 

Then I tried to continue to laugh as I told my co-workers and parents. I went to bed with the thought and talked to God for a good 2 hours as I could not sleep. Funny how he can keep me up when we are having some awesome conversations... because I really wanted to sleep. But we talked and he took me back to Abraham... this is a very long story that occurred a couple months before I started a Blog so I can't point you to it. But basically I was thinking about quitting PT school and Jesus took me to the call of Abraham and eventually to the preparations for sacrifice of Isaac. He asked me to take the preparations for sacrifice and he would speak to me. I was seriously considering quitting and decided to wait till I went to Haiti (the first time), I was sure he was going to tell me to quit and go start an orphanage somewhere. He didn't. No actually he softly reminded me how unthankfull I was for the BLESSING of PT school and questioning his ability to use the skills I was gaining in PT school. I came back more than positive that he wanted me to finish school...
So now I am leading a discipleship group through a bible study that goes through the entire Bible... guess what we discussed last Friday and the last personal Bible study I had done at that point was. Yeah Abraham... and I gave them a personal testimony about how he had asked me to be willing to sacrifice titles that were important to me. Well when we (God and I) had our little talk last night and I was getting overwhelmed with all the "Hows" he reminded my of Abraham and how when he calls he will not always give all the "Hows" but he will confirm it and guide me through every step. So I choose obedience. I choose adventure. I choose sacrifice. I choose to follow. I choose to listen. I choose Jesus.

I don't know if he is calling me to this. I know that it is a HUGE undertaking. I know that I have no experience. I know that I am way over my head. But I also know that if was not impossible I would go into it trying to make it succeed... but he has the plans. If I have peace and confirmation even if it is only his still small voice I will GO. I will move to Haiti!! I will lead, I will direct... but I will do it as I follow Jesus in obedience, sacrifice and adventure. Because I am blessed to know him and be known by him.
Please in this time be praying for me to quiet enough to listen to the voice of God as he leads through the conversations with the current dean and director in Haiti and through my decision if they do decide to officially offer a position.

Live Foolishly
^Rachel

Goodbye Florida

It really is surreal that I have spent the last six years of my life in Florida. I can still remember the last night I spent at home when my mom and I cried our eyes out off and on for about 10 hours. I remember leaving and being so excited about what was to come, but scared to let go of the past knowing that things would never be the same. Now it is over, now I have completed college and graduated with a Doctor of Physical Therapy. It is cool to say that, but also so weird. I am 23 years old and I am done with school, there is no "next step" in education, there is no going back later. I have to again move on, well I get to move on. I think such a dramatic transition from high school to college has allowed me to look with excitement to transitions and change, because without them they are boring. I think surviving that transition and seeing everything work its way out and knowing that I am exactly where God wants me to be gives me the freedom to prepare for the next step with anticipation and excitement. It does not mean there is no sadness in leaving what I have known, but it does mean that I will not live wishing for the past. I am so excited to move home, I am excited to start working, I am excited to hang around my nephews, my old friends, and make new friends, I am excited to explore the outdoors (and am coming back for a new appreciation for free/cheep outdoor activities), and I am excited for change. My life has always gone according to plan, I planned on being a physical therapist since I was 8 years old... when people asked me what I wanted to be that was it. Well I have done that, now what. I think now is when the fun begins. I love to plan, but my plans have always typically been somewhat set... school. Now I know what the next two years hold... paying back loans. But after that, I have no clue.

Missions: His Caring Place

One month ago I moved into a home for young women who are pregnant but do not have the support and resources to care for themselves and their children. I serve as an RA and when I say that people ask "what does that entail?" Well the house I live in is more of a discipleship house, the girls are not required to be Christians, but the house is run by a Christian organization and all of the staff are Christians. My "work" is every other weekend all day, but we are truly "always on". When I interviewed they made this seem like such a daunting task, but the Words God has spoken to me in this last month give me peace and rest in this. He says be ready in season and out of season, basically everyone of us is "ALWAYS ON", but sometimes we forget who our audience is. See if I was trying to please my boss or the girls I now live with this new task would be overwhelming. Never being off would be stressful, but the truth is for the last 15 years of my life I have been living to LOVE JESUS. This love spills over as actions, but I don't walk around worried about what someone else may think of me. The only question I ever have to ask is "Is this an expression of Love to my Lord and savior?" Now this may still seem overwhelming to think that we are always on, but if we draw our strength from God our helper and we take on the the yoke that Jesus refers to in Matthew 11 then we begin to live in the freedom of grace and provision instead of working to please. Think LOVE, what does it look like, we love because he first loved us. His love is perfect, he does not want you to follow a list of rules, he wants you to live to LOVE him. When we recognize this we no longer have to change how we live depending on the circumstance we find ourselves. If we continue to focus on our first true love, JESUS Christ, we will be provided all we need in the circumstance. 

I think the more we are in the same "mission field" and circumstances do not follow our dreams or our plans we allow our fire to diminish and start to think "where is God leading me NEXT?" Here. Thats where he is leading you. Where is that? Where you are and the next step you will take. Look around for those that you can love and never stop. Jesus led you there because he is pursuing those around you through you. He has chosen to use YOU, but love is long suffering. It does not stop when you get frustrated or when those around you do not receive it. You must love those that Jesus loves (which is everyone) sacrificially. One song that brought me into this job and God has used to prepare me for what it will take is Hillsong United "Love is War." The writers were speaking about where the lyrics came from and he said that it is about us surrendering our life, our desires, our pride for the LOVE of Christ knowing that he has triumphed. The love of Christ is saying not my will but Yours. I knew coming into this job that the girls were not going to thank me everyday for being the RA, for making them follow the rules, do their chores, or even help them with something. They expect it, it is my job. But what they do not expect because they do not understand is that I will tell them and show them that I love them no matter what they say or how they act out. Not because I am a good person, or because they are just perfect angels, but because Jesus is pursuing them. Jesus will never stop loving them, so I commit to never stop loving them from the overflow of love He has given me. So what does this look like for you? It is not your future. It is your present. Yes God has greater things to come, but he wants us to be faithful in the things he has for us now. If you see him working in the now you will continue the good work. It does not show up all the sudden. Faith is built by God being faithful, but you can not see his faithfulness if you do not step out of the comfort of the predictable. 

I left for college almost 6 years ago with faith that God had called me to Florida, however I will admit that I had not been living in faith much before that. I mean yes I had accepted Christ by faith, but my life day by day was not lived in faith. I loved Jesus, but I had not spent the time investing in his faithfulness, so when I got here I began to questioned if I had made the correct decision. I allowed the doubt from the Devil to shut me in, convincing me that I was not in the right place and since I had come to the wrong place I could not be used. I am so glad that I had parents and a church growing up that mentored me in the Word. I turned there, not to a church or a friend, I turned to the Bible, God's promises in my life. I read and immersed myself in it and began to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit. Yes it was hard, but in the previous years he had been preparing me for it, it was his plan and he had led me there. He built my faith through His Word even though I did not have the support system I so earnestly desired. He had to pull me out of the comfort of my family, church, and friends for me to realize that I was not in reliance on him. I was merely living off the faith of others. Now their faith and seeing what He had brought others through did allow me to know that He was real, but by calling me out to a truly personal relationship he began to build my faith in Him. That faith has grown slowly over the last 5 years, but has much maturing to do. I hear him as He leads and the fact that I don't know exactly where He is leading next provides no anxiety for me because I KNOW he will lead. It frees me to live intentional about where I am now instead of having to split my attention between the present and future. I also see how my past has led to my present so I know that what I am encountering now, both good and bad, my struggles, my hurts, my joys, are all part of his plan. Not just for my life, but more importantly to Glorify HIS name. 

So in response to "What are you doing here?" I would say Loving Jesus, Glorifying the Father, and Loving those He has called me to. "What does that look like?" Well it is leaving daily at 6:15 (when I use to wake up at 7:30) to go to class and showing them that a woman of God is not just a pastor's wife. A woman of God can be a student. It is coming home dead tired but sacrificing my time to eat dinner with them, sit in on a Bible study, help them with home work, mentor them through a situation in their life, or just talk. It is trusting that God called me to do this work and that he will provide the time and the energy to pass my classes as well as invest in their lives. It is giving up studying, being lazy, going to the beach, or whatever else every other weekend to be "on the job." Most importantly it is not forgetting my first love, because without the desire to know my savior, his love, and all the other characteristics of Him I will never be able to accomplish any of the above task. Operating in my weakness and His strength is the only possible answer to this job, not only at His Caring Place, but as a Christian in general. So where do you feel weak? Embrace it and ask God to work right there so that you can experience His characteristic of faithfulness.

Live Foolishly, 

Rachel Woodson  

Power to Love

I get the opportunity every Friday to volunteer alongside the High School ministry with a governmental housing neighborhood called Golden Acres (GA). I am going to be real honest... it is a dark place. It is the hardest thing I have EVER done emotionally. The very first time I went there was a child, about 8-years old, holding a flyer with a naked girl on it and "touching" her. I got so frazzled, I took it from him ripped it and stuck it in my pocket to throw away later. When I got home and took it out of my pocket to throw away I started to cry. Why would an 8-year old boy even have the ability to see these things? Why are the parents allowing him to experience this? Why, Why, Why... I started to get really angry at these parents, guardians, older guys that are influencing him to be like this. And then God just spoke into my spirit reminding me that those men, where once this boy. They were the boys being encouraged to view and touch girls in this way, they were the boys that were laughed at if they hugged someone, they were the boys that were told "your no good", "you are going to end up like everyone else, you can't get out." They were the boys that were written off by society and they were the boys that the church was too scared to go into their neighborhood and bring Jesus with them.

You see every time we step into the neighborhood we bring the Power of Jesus Christ with us. Today one of my friends shared from Colossians 1:29 with all the volunteers before we left for GA. It says "To this end I also labor, striving according to His (Jesus) working which works in me mightly" and then he was just explaining how although we are a small group going into a big neighborhood, there is a BIG JESUS working through us. It seems so hopeless sometimes, and it seems like we are doing so little, and I know sometimes we feel like it is going all wrong. But here is what I know, every week there are about 10 kids that coming RUNNING to our cars when we get there and another 10-20 that come out to play with us. I know that for the next 2-3 hours those kids get hugs and thrown in the air, and jump rope, and play basketball, and they are loved by everyone there. And with our hearts humbled knowing we are not going to change those kids or that neighborhood we go as we are called and pray that Jesus will SHINE and overtake that neighborhood. We pray for the kids, we invite the teens to church, and we try to engage in conversations with the parents. But we can't do it. The 10-15 of us that go (even if there were a 1,000 of us) don't have the ability to change it, but we have began to see the fruits of our co-labor with Christ. From last I heard 3 of the HS students have accepted Christ in the last few months.

It is sometimes hard watching from the outside, knowing that these kids don't need to head the way they are heading, but it is an opportunity to see Christ. I see the volunteers (HSers and leaders alike) getting frustrated that it's not running smoothly and I think of Jesus and his birth. Probably not what Mary would consider "smooth". I see the kids fighting each other, or whining about not getting a second cookie, or not getting the ball enough, or not getting a piggyback ride. When I step back I see Jesus looking at Christians fighting or whining about God not obeying their will. I see these kids following bad examples, taking the wrong road, and I get frustrated that I can just change their direction. I see Jesus watching me walk away from him. Over and over and over again. And yet whether it is how he came to redeem you and I, watching us fight and whine, or watching us walk away in either ignorance or disobedience with love he looks at His father, our father and says "I died for that. Forgive them for they know not what they have done" And so all I pray is that I can love these kids unconditionally, even when they are kicking me, cursing at me, whining, or talking while we try to do small group and that Jesus will change the hearts of this neighborhood. And because He is sovereign and He loves me I will have faith that with a humbled heart He will work powerfully through me and those I serve with.

Galatians 6:9 "Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."
Colossians 3:14-15"But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. and let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called to one body; and be thankful"

Missions Uganda... Lessons Learned

When you come back from a mission trip everyone wants to know "How was it?" But this question has so many layers to it. Some people want to hear "It was (awesome, good, ok, bad, scary, sketchy)" (By the way it was amazingly incredibly awesome), while others want to sit down and hear stories for 2-3 hours. Many of the people in my life get a little weirded out by the "it was cool to see God...", they think the idea of a service trip is cool, but they don't really understand the objective of a mission trip. So one thing I have had the opportunity to do is give glory to God for the opportunity and everything going well (not always as planned, but well), and this has led to some good (and other awkward) conversations of what God was able to accomplish that I obviously was not. So this is just a collection of lessons I learned, it will probably be long, but it will not have the complete stories since I have already told most of them in one of my previous blog post. 

1) God loves to change plans. 
While I saw this one for me it was more clearly seen through my dad who went to Uganda with me. When planning for this mission trip at one point everyone had dropped out and it was just me still committed to going over the Christmas break in December. (My thoughts on this one are in my post Uganda?) I did not know exactly what to do, but I felt that God was still calling me to go. I talked to my mom about it and she did not think it was a good decision and thought I should just wait, but I really felt God was asking me to trust that he would provide protection and provision for the trip. So I respectfully told my mother that she needed to pray about it. A father/daughter team soon committed to going as well, but my parents did start praying about it and asking their community group for prayer. The answer they got was not to prevent me from going, but rather for one of them to join me. Since the other pair was a father/daughter team my parents decided it should be my dad. So three days before we booked our tickets my dad joined our team. 

The Lesson: I think it was so cool to see how my dad having no idea what to expect or what was expected of him and having no expectations of the trip was continually in learning mode. Learning from God, from the missionaries, from the nationals he worked with, from the others on our team, and from the kids in the orphanage. When we got there they asked each of us "what are your expectations?" My dads response was just "I came in my mind by default, but I know this is God's answer to our prayer so we will see why He brought me here." I know some of the things my dad learned and felt led to do because of our trip, I pray that as we become more and more entrenched in the American culture that he will have the drive because of what he learned on this trip to change the way he lives and in the process change the world for one more person. 

2) A. God hates guilt.
I am one of those people that try really hard to not make excuses for what happens. I try to take the blame and just say it was ill preparation on my part or what ever may be the case. In the two weeks leading up to leaving for Uganda I had spent about a total of an hour in the Word because I was so obsessed with finals. But the truth is I spent more time on Facebook, instagram, and pinterest and could have easily dedicated that time to biblically preparing for the trip to Uganda. But I didn't. When I finally got to the airport and had time to breath I began to feel guilty, to feel like I had failed in this aspect to question if I should really be going if I was not even willing to take time to dig into the Word which is so important in preparation for a MISSION trip. Well nothing I could do about it now, and I would just have to deal with the fact that God would not be as present on this trip for me because of the decisions I had made. After a total freak out when they announced that the plane had been cancelled and wondering if I had created this opportunity on my own the peace that came knowing in my heart that God was not in the same freak out mode allowed me to sense his presence before I ever took off. When they announced that we were going to board and I realized that everything was going to work out I felt Him telling me that this was not my great idea. He has had this plan for my life and although He revealed it to me in middle school He is still going to be ahead and beside me during every step in this adventure. I don't have to follow a set of rules or a road map to the destination, I just have to walk as He leads me and trust that He will carry me when I fail. The fact is I did not prepare for this mission trip the same way I did for Haiti, but the fact is that my God is the same God here when I am stressed for finals, in Haiti when I have taken a month to focus on being as intimate as I could with Him, and in Uganda where I realized that I need to stop giving myself so much credit for the things that go right so that I will stop giving myself so much credit when things do not go so "right". I just need to allow God to have the credit and remember His faithfulness in the past so I can count on his faithfulness in the future. 

 B. Be careful what you pray for. 
I touched on this one a little in my post "take off?" but for the last year or so I have been praying that God would give me opportunities where I would Have to trust in Him. There have been multiple opportunities over the last year, but the airplane issue was probably the biggest, or at least most obvious test of this I had. Serving in third world countries you see this dependence all the time. It's not like here in America where we think of dependence as those on welfare. I am talking about dependence where you and your child have not eaten for days and you know the only way you are going to get food is if God provides. Realistically that will likely never happen for me. The family I was born into and the path I took in my life makes the access of basic necessities readily available. Watching the different scenarios where God is asking me "Do you trust me?" is hard and yet a blessing to know that he desires to answer my prayers and to allow me to grow my relationship with him through these events. 

I thank God now for the incident with my first plane. When they announced we would be boarding it (the second time) I was overwhelmed realizing that not only was he answering two prayers, but that He was in control of this trip. I also realized that I needed to enjoy the trip and how He would use me, instead of focusing on my personal failures of preparation. 

3) God has got this (And He keeps his promises)
Back ground: Those of you that have known me for more than 2 years know how badly I did not want to go to grad school. I always joke (well not really a joke) that God knew me too well to allow me to go to grad school AFTER I finished my bachelors degree. There is no way I would currently be in grad school (or America) if God had not strategically planned the 6 years after high school. If it were not for my volleyball scholarship I would have taken a year off between high school and college to do a mission experience, and probably would have never come back. Then I was excepted into the dual admit program for physical therapy so my senior year of undergraduate was my first year of graduate school. Once I had one year done I figured I should just finish. But everyone knew that I was seriously contemplating postponing it a couple years or just dropping out, but when I really took the time to ask God for direction he made it clear that this was his plan and I had been given abilities and opportunities no one else had and I just needed to continue.  I did, but was not any too excited about it. When finals came around I was always saying that I was cool with failing out, that I would just go do PATMOS the next semester and then head to the mission field. But God made school quite easy for me and also made me stubbornly driven to not fail, so I passed. I began to feel like God was asking me to go on mission trips to prepare to be a missionary and one of my youth pastors suggested Mission of Hope Haiti. It was cool, but while I was there I got to see how God could use me as a PT there and basically told me to quit complaining about an opportunity that others fight so hard for but can not achieve.  

The Lesson: While I was in Uganda the next step on the "plan" was laid out right before my eyes. Most of you know that God "promised" me an orphanage while I was in seventh grade. While in college he "added" special needs orphanage to that. And this year I got to see an orphanage that loves and takes special care of EVERY child included those with special needs. The care is wonderful physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I also got to meet an experienced missionary (raised an MK) that works with special needs children and the communities they live in to provide education, care, and love to these kids. (Her name is Julie Propts and you can access her blog by clicking on her name) It was cool to see a picture of how God may use me in the future to bring His light through the life of these awesome kids. I know that my journey will not look just like hers, but just to see how God is using those educated to work with these kids to bring the Truth of who Christ is and also to bring the reality of these diagnosis from being "witch-craft" to being a trial of a child that is beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of Christ. I don't know the why to everything right now, but I live in constant excitement to see how God is using every past experience in my present experience and the present experiences are setting up future experiences. God has a great track record in my life, so I continue to pray that He will show me how to walk directly behind him in excitement for the path we are on. 


Now you get to see all the photos

My dad with Matthew (I think) when we took all the special needs kids swimming. It was a very fun, but very cold day. So good to hear the kids laughing, squealing, and splashing. Special treat for them as well. 

This is Joseph with Tom. I know Tom does not look like he is having much fun, but trust me by the time Joseph finished with him he was enjoying it. Joseph is an occupational therapist and single handedly got every child that did not want to swim into the water. It was awesome to see. 

Julie (the special needs teacher) with praise who initially would not get anywhere close to the water until Joseph pulled her in. Then she would cry any time she was not in the water :) 

Picture of the source of the Nile

Sarah, Tom, and praise doing the see-saw. Praise did not know what to think of it at first and ended up loving it.

Betty and I. this girl seriously has the best smile I have ever seen

My dad cover in Toddlers. Again

We decided to make a Ugandan Style traffic jam on the toddler slide.... then a bunch of them started to cry and one got buried. 

This is Gloria. She and I got really close and I started to cry as I said bye to her and seriously miss her a lot. She just was so sweet and yet a little crazy. She got a part of my heart for sure

THE VILLAGE

Coffee beans drying out before being sold

Coming back from getting water

The village

 

The girl in the middle is Claudia. She showed me around the family house and took lots of pics with me. This is her with 8 of 13 siblings. Their dad works for one of the missionaries at GSF

The next four are taken in the village church... Light of the World church

This is Iesha and Niema. They are sisters but followed me the entire time we were in the village. Absolutely gorgeous. 

Village KIDS!!!

BACK at GSF

Bubbles with Sadie and Betty

4 Monkeys

Seriously... she is beautiful

Like I said... Always covered in toddlers

Village home

This is a jack fruit. It was not ripe, but supposedly it taste like juicy fruit. 

Sunset

Mimi is one of the missionary kids that ended up with me for much of the week (don't worry I was completely alright with it) This day we just were walking and I stopped at the girls house to say hi and Mimi (4 years old) decided she wanted to wash clothes. But they were so cute. This is her and Gayla. 

Mimi and Sadie post washing

Gloria and I on Christmas eve. She is so sweet!!!

Ok I know it is another picture of Gloria... I might be slightly biased. But seriously can you look at her plate of food. And every one of them eat that much. 

This is Sam. He is precious, sweet, smart, and all boy. He was born with spina bifida and so does not have the use of his legs. But let me tell you he is AWESOME and always so happy. 

Brothers. They taught the one on the right "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth"

Gayla. Beautiful smile, dress, personality. I loved this girl and her heart to help. Pushing the kids that needed wheelchairs was hard because of the terrain but you could always find her either pushing or right along side helping get the wheelchairs over rocks or what ever else was in the way. So sweet!

Esther!! This girl is basically the bomb. If you want to have a smile on your face every day you should get to know this girl. She has severe wounds on her hands and feet so she can not walk on them... but do not start feeling sorry for her. She gets on her knees and can keep up with the rest of them. Every time I saw her she would RUN (on her knees) over to me and give me the biggest hug. Not going to lie I went to the house she lived at more often so I could get these hugs. 

Yeah I am in love

Lilly. This girl is awesome. She loves hugs. And every time you she her she will ask "Do you know Lilly?" So sticking sweet

Gayla and Ester playing with the drums we made

 

This is what we flew back across the ocean. Yes that is a double decker plane with about 800 people on it

Live Foolishly, 

Rachel Woodson