Two years ago I had planned on going to Haiti, and had just about everything figured out, but it got cancelled due to problems in Haiti. (The US said it was unsafe to travel) During my freshman year here in Florida the country of Haiti suffered a major earthquake, and I got to see how the Haitian culture here in South Florida reacted to it. It was so sad to watch students who had lost loved ones, friends, or the houses they grew up in go through the grief process. After the earthquake I got to go to a candle light service that the on campus Haitian club put on, during the service they did a group prayer and listening to the students cry out to God in both english and creole was pretty intense and awesome. They had real, raw emotion. Some were angry, some were confused, some were in shock, and some were just trusting God's plan. I couldn't understand any of them, but as they were praying I was praying as well. Asking God to give me empathy, asking God what I could do, and asking Him to give me a heart for these people and their pain. Since then that candle light vigil has been ingrained in my mind and their pain ingrained in my heart.
This spring break, I finally get to go. I am going through a organization called Mission of Hope Haiti, I heard about it from Brian Pope one of my youth pastors. Growing up our church encouraged mission trips, and after being on a couple I figured out how little we do and how much God does in our lives while surrendering our time and funds to love his people. It is an addictive high, and I think it should be. When I give of myself physically, financially, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally for the purpose of going to those that need love I think God provides a joy that in incomparable. It gives us that "high" that can't be explained by science, it can't be explained by someone that is not filled with the spirit of Christ. They think it is fake, they think it is a phase, and my mistake is I let it be. Instead of coming back and serving my friends, family, professors, and even the driver that is going way too slaw for the fast lane as another one of God's creation that he has called me to love I come back, say I have done MY good for a while... now I can just care about MYSELF. And then the high goes away, because I have hidden the expression of Gods love. I let MY busy schedule, MY selfish desires, and MY tiredness, interfere with God's love for those around me that need it the most.
Don't get me wrong, I am STOKED to go on this trip, I am STOKED to help out in anyway I can and to finally be immersed in the culture my heart and Spirit have been connected to for the past 2 years, but I know there is so much more God wants to teach me and show me during my time in Haiti. I don't know exactly what I expect while I am in Haiti, but while I am there completely out of my comfort zone, I am hoping that He will just refresh and cleanse my Spirit from all of the cultural filters I have put on who He is and what He can do. I am guilty of putting him in an Americanized, humanized box and not expecting anything bigger. Sure I pray for bigger things, but I guess I don't really think he can do it. I mean sometimes it happens, and thats cool, but if I was honest many of my prayers are faithless. Right now I am just focusing on Hebrews 11:6// And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him// and James 1:6// But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.// In these weeks leading up to Haiti I am pressing into and pleading with God to help me with my faith in who he is, what he has done, and what he has/is doing in my life right now.
Here are some of the things I am praying for, if anybody has some ideas to add just put them in the comments
1) To be completely exhausted of who I am so I can experience complete reliance on who He is
2) To be stretch to do things I am not comfortable with
2b) for him to prepare me spiritually to do these things
3) To observe/be a blessing for others who get to live a life of daily dependence upon God's provision
4) To see a God of Eph. 3:20// A God who is able to to immeasurably more than all I could ask or imagine.
