Sunsets

I get a lot of eye rolls for my love of sunsets. For a girl that breaks just about every "girly" stereotype... I LOVE sunsets. Yes they are beautiful... but they are so much more than that. They are constant. They are always the same and yet different each day depending on where you see them from. I have seen sunsets in Arkansas from a big field that makes the sun look HUGE, on the lake with a beautiful reflection, in the mountains of colorado as it blinds me on the snow, from a rooftop parking garage in college and rooftop pavilion in Haiti, I have watched the sunset behind the smoke of wild fires in California and Oregon, on a long trek in New Zealand, temples in Thailand and Japan, and of course my personal favorite from the beaches of Haiti as it dances across the waves and sets behind the clouds of that days rain. Every single day the sun does the same thing... it does not change, it does not get smaller, larger, or brighter. And yet everyday it looks different.



As I enter into this season of life of missions I need these sunsets. When I tell people I am live in Haiti they immediately ask about safety, electricity, and other daily inconveniences. That is not the hard part. The hard part is the loneliness. I LOVE Haiti and I am so excited for what God has called me to do here... I am so thankful that I have never known the daily struggle of mental health disorders, but I have felt myself tip that way in my longer stints in Haiti. This starts to scare me... so I try to make myself busier, but that does not fix it... and it does not make my ministry more effective. As I process my trip in February I realize that the Lord was working and teaching me to embrace the loneliness and grieve that. He was asking me to realize that another country, culture, economy, and people is a beautiful thing, but that it creates a loneliness that very few other people understand. They don't understand my frustrations, they don't see the tears over the unfairness of life, and I can't ever really express that. I can't tell you all how I feel about so many things because it makes me appear jaded and prideful and hypocritical. I am all of those things, but that is not my heart behind my tears and frustrations. I know that is how it comes off because that is how it came off to me. How does this relate to sun sets? Stick with me I am getting there.

As sadness or joy, frustration or victories come I often crave to see a sunset. It is where I sit with the Lord and tell Him these things. I am reminded that the Son is like the sun. He is not moving or changing. He is the same at all times... but our heart, our culture, our circumstances change our view of him. He is there behind the stormy clouds of sickness and death and of how beautiful is a sunset just after the storm. He peaks through the clouds of loneliness, depression, defeat, guilt, and grief. He dances on the waters as we take a break to just sit with him in the sand or on a boat. He is BRIGHT as we watch Him from the highest mountain on a clear day of victories, celebration, and joy. He is there... and I have to remind myself that every light I see is because the Son in there. If I am in a valley with dark storm clouds the sun is still there and so is my God. I love that when the Son was crucified the Bible speaks of the earth going dark... that God hid the sun because He knew the LIGHT was hidden for a while as he went into war against SIN AND DEATH. Oh but we are so thankful that the victory was won and we no longer have to fear darkness because the Son is always there... even when we can not see Him.

So as I sit here watching my first sunset with Haiti as my primary residence I just take some time to sit with Him and talk to Him through my hopes, expectations, fears, and insecurities in this new life. I pray that I would appreciate the grace given to me as I navigate this new adventure and pray that my naive spirit would be diminished and my mistakes forgotten. I pray that His spirit and love is what people experience and remember, because I know I am not perfect... but I pray that He would choose to reflect His light off me to show others another "view" of himself. Please pray WITH me that I would sit with Him often enough and long enough to only do what He has called me to do here. Also I ask that you pray FOR me that I would either meet others that I can connect with during this transition and/or experience His love and completeness in a way that overcomes my loneliness and insecurities.

^Live Foolishly
Rachel

Yo Kapab (they can)

Today was a special day, an amazing day. We are taking 8 students (3rd year PT and OT students) to the local “public” hospital this week and next. We have primarily worked with 4 patients during these two days. One patient is an older gentleman, we will call him Jean, whom suffered a gunshot wound. Following the students' initial evaluation the patient was found to have no movement below the waist and post op abdominal surgery. The surgeon came in shortly after and kindly spoke with us about the patient. When he and I were talking he said to me “I don’t think he needs to be here (ortho floor) anymore, I think he should transfer to neuro bc maybe he has a spinal cord injury from the gunshot but we don’t know.” Long story short we went in and sat the patient as the edge of the bed for the first time after his surgery 10 days ago and he was a little dizzy and VERY weak. He had not moved fromlaying on his back, however the nurses had done a good job of preventing pressure sores/ulcers.

When we came in the next morning we were informed that the patient was being discharged. The family had not been taught ANYTHING. No positioning, no transfers, no catheter changes, no infection precautions. NOTHING. So we began to work with the students on educating the family and getting the family involved in transfers and planned to teach the family to transfer Jean to a wheelchair (even though they did not have the money to purchase one) and some other basic spinal cord injury education. We started to discuss it and they were talking about how surgeons get tunnel visioned on their one issue and will sometimes discharge patients not understanding everything. I voiced what he had said to me and then the ball started to roll….

The nurses called the doctor and he confirmed that he did feel he needed to be transferred to the neuro unit but that the doctor on call would have to make that decision. When the doctor arrived he “conferenced” with one of our PT students and a nursing student that had been fantastic in caring for the patient as well (the photo above). They advocated for the patient and the doctor AGREED that the patient should stay on the neuro unit. They also talked to the director and he interviewed the family to determine if they needed a wheelchair without paying. The option also came up for him to go to an inpatient rehab center, which is still in progress as to if that will happen.

I was amazed and started to tear up thinking how these students are changing this country starting with that man. They are doing it respectfully and dignified. They are doing it by working TOGETHER as a healthcare TEAM. They are doing it because they care about their patients. It is a long road ahead, but THEY ARE DOING IT!!! I was so proud to be part of FSRL/FSIL today. That man would have likely laid in a bed at his home, never moving, and had no quality of life if these students (PT/OT/nursing) were not there. He would have likely died in the next 3-6 months due to wound infection, pressure sores, pneumonia, or some other related illness secondary to his apparent spinal cord injury…. But now he will have some time and physical/occupational therapy to live a better quality and more dignified life. This profession of physical therapy that I get to call a job will always give me pride because I get to watch peoples lives change. Because I beleive that quality of life is as important to a person as actual life.

Today was refreshing and I am so excited to see rehab professions become a more common part of the healthcare team as it demonstrates progress in Haiti from pure survival to giving quality of life to the patient and family through respect, dignity, and improving independence.

^Live Foolishly
Rachel

Lessons from the Blan

So here in Haiti they call white people Blan. I could be spelling that wrong since I am just going from how I hear it and my creole (kreyol) phonetics have (lots) to be desired.  The word is more of an adjective, it can be a kind description or derogatory depending on how it is used. But one way it is used is to describe someone that does not fit into Haiti. So when you act really new and "white" you are really blan and as you get more into the flow of the culture they begin to call you "Haitian". Well lets just say I am for sure very "blan" at the time.
This blan has learned a lot over the last two weeks, unfortunately kreyol has not been one of them.

• I have learned to where shorts under my dress when riding a moto... because I am blan when I get off and have not figured out a way to get off without "stretching my groin muscles" 
• I have learned that when there is electricity... bring a flashlight into the bathroom when showering... (oh and maybe have a bucket of water in case the well runs out of water while you are in there.
• There is a lot you can get done in two hours when you know its the only 2 hours you will have electricity. I think this is a great motivator and creates some efficiency... especially in procrastinators
• Those Yeti coolers do not last 4 days in the Haitian heat with ice
• Ants can actually eat through and dig up the grout between floor tiles. And they find everything... even the things I cant see. 
• I am going to need to buy some Fans and figure out a way to get them here (not so much because I am hot... because I can't sleep with mosquito buzzing in my ear. I have the fortune of not really being allergic... I itch for 10-15 min. But they just find a way to pester EVERYONE. 
• Cockroaches have more will to live than I do. Seriously I have to hit them like 2-3 times before they actually die. One of them made it about 20 feet After I smashed the guts. 

Ok so yes these are all 3rd world living lessons, but... I love the fresh air every morning on the moto and the way everyone greats each other. The streets are busy with people and they know each other. No electricity can be frustrating, but I have learned there is nothing I can do about it... and maybe God did that on purpose. Maybe he wanted us to relax more, talk more, be present more. You can do some things with just fire at night... you can talk to others and play with kids, you can read, you can eat. You can not watch TV, you can not write emails, many "chores" are too inconvenient. I have learned to take advantage of this time. 7:00 is too early for me to go to bed, one day when I am more comfortable this time will be great for visiting with neighbors. But right now I read, I spend intentional time in prayer, I just relax. It is truly wonderful. When there are a bunch of dishes left and I know that means there will be ants... its hard to relax but I am learning the beauty of darkness.


I have had more experiences than I expected as well.

• My first week here was the HEALTH FAIR: I love the week of the health fair. I get to learn so much from therapist that have been working here for years. My favorite thing this year was the moms. I have worked with special needs kids two previous times and each time I was asked if I would just take their child by at least one mother. NOT THIS TIME. This time many of the moms were on the floor talking, playing, touching, and loving there child. It give me tears and goosebumps as I write it. These therapist and other advocates of special needs children are teaching these moms to love and give dignity to their children. There is a ways to go in the country, but it needs to start with the families. 
• Staying with a friend: I stayed with a friend in Port Au Prince last weekend. It was actually the whole family. It was a great time. I went to market with the sister/aunt and they speak very little English and I speak very little Kreyol. So we waded our way through the market and got stared at by everyone. I stopped at one point to try to point to something I wanted but didn't want the people selling to see me pointing. Literally all 16 surrounding booths were staring at me. I just started laughing and let it be. It really was a lot of fun and the family was great even if there was minimal verbal communication between some of us. 
• Pickliz: I made pickliz and had it with fried plantains just about every day this week. It was fantastic... but I made too much and probably some is going to go bad. But maybe not its pickled so it may last a while. The biggest win for me was the fact that I did not get sick which means I cleaned things well enough. 
• Moto Rides: I have successfully taken the moto for a week to and from work at the school. I am unable how ever to call the moto to pick me up. So I still rely on a friend to do that for me. Once I even got ice and got it back to the house on the moto... it was about 1/4 of a mile and one bag... but baby steps. 
• Teaching: I taught the second year students adaptive equipment this week. Although teaching is not my thing we did it in a more discussion format and I think it went quite well. I think this is one course that is very important for the therapist here is Haiti to teach as they are able to make and use creative techniques for equipment and teaching the technology we have in America is not the most beneficial. 

It has been a whirlwind, and it has really stretched this introvert to the point where I just want to lay down in a puddle a cry. But there are people that are major answers to prayers in this transition. I have overcome some silly fears and am learning daily the strength in dependence. I think a lot of my pride rides on my ability to be independent. One of my prayers for years has been that the Lord would deal with my pride so that I could love him and others better. Right now I have to depend on others for everything day to day. I have to depend on my friend to call the moto driver. I have to depend on the moto driver to pick me up. I have to depend on the family that I am renting from to allow me to charge batteries, refill water, get things from market, set up people to help me around the house, take me to church, and just help me navigate expat life here in Haiti. It's a very uncomfortable position to be in for me. I am used to serving others not needing from others. It makes me feel like a burden and I just don't like it. But I am learning... I am learning how you help someone can give them worth or take it away. I am learning how to be great-full and not always think that others expect something in return. I am learning the importance of relationship with those that help you and you help to decrease the feeling of burden on each other. These lessons are important for me now and as I increase my own independence here I hope that I will remember these as I am able to help others.


Please keep in touch I love hearing from people back home. If you are reading this and did not get my snail mail newsletter please let me know. I would love to get you on the mailing list.

^Life Foolishly

Rachel

To the Team

This post will be updated weekly with prayer request. To those of you that have fought on the front lines in prayer for myself, my ministry and all God is doing in Haiti... you are awesome. I learn daily the importance of prayer for my connection to the Lord and what he is doing in and through me but also in my connection and love for those that serve me and those I serve. I am able to do what I do because of you.  Whether or not we know each other well I want to say thank you! This journey of missions and transitioning from a first world culture to a third world culture is hard. Knowing I have support from so many makes the journey so worth it.

If you are new to the team here is the ask for prayer... we are a team. I have asked everyone that is part of my team to set their alarm for 9:25 am or pm. This comes from John 9:2-5 and John 9:25.

I have kept a prayer journal in the past and think it is such an amazing way to watch what how God demonstrates his love through relationship that prayer gives us. This is sometimes demonstrated through answered prayers, and sometimes through unanswered prayers or just "no" to prayers. I have experienced God through all of these and one thing I know is that in every scenario I have developed a more intimate understanding of his love for me as well as all of his children. I am going to put my prayers below and as they are answered or not I will update it with a little explanation.

• Language learning
• Administrative duties at school
• Lead teacher for Rehab position
• Car/transportation