I'm going to Uganda! I'm going to Uganda! (Now go back and read that with the tune you used to tease your siblings when you were younger.) I have wanted to go to Africa since I was in middle school, don't know exactly why I wanted to go there of all places. I guess it is because I knew there were tons of people, especially kids, living in conditions that I had grown up learning were undesirable. I wanted to go and make their lives better, and I still do, but now my idea of "better" has changed. Yes I do want to go care for the orphan and feed the poor, I want to find a way to educate them all so they can improve their condition, but more than anything I want to be a glimpse of Jesus to them. I want to leave some of the love he has shown and given me with them and I want them to know there is an unlimited supply when they confess and believe that Jesus Christ is exactly who he said he is. When they believe that he came to seek and to save that which is lost, that he came to bind up the broken hearted, that he came to dirty and untouchables, that he came to eat with sinners, that he came to be love, that he came to fulfill the scriptures and to bridge God's ability to be just and holy and well as loving and merciful.
So now this December I will leave for Uganda, Africa for 16 days to play with kids on Christmas break, hang out and disciple some of the University students, and serve the ministry and missionaries in any way I can. People keep asking me why I am going on these mission trips alone... and well I guess the main reason for this one is because no one else could/wanted to go, but I also believe that God wants me to be undistracted in experiencing Him and what he is teaching me. I have always had a heart for missions and going to Haiti just confirmed that, there was something about worshiping with them that made everything right. It stripped away the chasm of poverty and wealth of black and white of young and old and just put us all there to focus on the same God, the same goal.... Kingdom work.
So now I get to experience God in another nation, another context, I know that I don't need to go to Africa to care for the orphan, to feed the poor, or to proclaim the Gospel. I do (or try) that everyday here. Just yesterday I went to one of the government projects here in South Florida to hang out and share the Bible with a bunch of the kids. It absolutely broke my heart to listen to some of the 8-10 year old conversations, it does not take long to realize that there are tons of people right here that need Jesus to go to them. But this December I will be following the Lord to Uganda to do what he has called me to do there, but to also develop my relationship with my Savior... and I AM EXCITED!
Last November I had this conviction about talking so much about wanting to do missions, but never taking the step of actually going. I started looking into mission trips and contacted three different organizations, one in Haiti, one in Uganda, and one in Ecuador. I only heard back from the one in Haiti, and that is where I had wanted to go after the Earthquake in 2010 but was unable, so I committed to go during my spring break. That decision was made in January and I heard back from GSF orphanage in Uganda in February saying I could come for the entire summer, and while that was a very exciting opportunity it just was not realistic with our class schedule so I asked them if I could come December 2013. They said that was likely and to contact them in May, so I did and we had decent communication (I mean they are in Uganda they don't get email updates on their phones) until I turned in my application, then I did not hear from them for nearly 2 months. I was getting pretty antsy about not hearing from them, but I felt like God telling me to let it go and to be thankful for the time I would get to spend with my family. So I did, I completely let it go and told God I was on his time table not mine. That I would continue to obey the commands of His word but open and closed doors were up to him. I had started making plans to go to Costa Rica with a friend for thanksgiving break and going home for Christmas. We had found a couple of deals from Groupon and were going to book it when I got back from Arkansas.
But the day before I left for Arkansas I woke up early to do my devotional on the beach (I know I have a rough life) and started to read a book on the Gospel of Luke and the author was talking about how when Jesus came he said that the Kingdom was for the poor (because at that time all wealthy people were dishonest) and the sinners (that part still stands). He talked about going to the poor and about the blessings of the poor, I really did not give much thought about Uganda when reading it. As I was packing all my stuff up I looked at my phone and I had an email, and to be quite honest I did not recognize who it was from but I opened it and realized it was from GSF orphanage in Uganda. When I first realized what it was saying I was like "no, its too late I have made other plans." So I sat back down and just had a little convo with God that went something like this....
Me: "ok God you said it was not going to happen"
God: "no I said I didn't want you to focus on it and making it happen"
"and that different?"
"yes"
"how"
"well now its me that made it happen, just when you let me take it I got to work it out for the best of all who love me"
"so you actually want me to go?"
"yep"
"but I have started making other plans, and I told my mom I was probably coming home for Christmas and those three weeks, and I was going to get to spend time with my Brothers and Ryan's family, maybe we can arrange this for another time"
"you don't HAVE to go"
"but you want me to"
"yep, I know this is what is best for you and what you and I are walking through right now"
"so why couldn't I just know like a week ago before I started making other plans"
"this disciple thing you signed up for in not always easy, it's not always convenient, it's not always ideal, but I think you would agree my track record for it is perfect" (insert more listening here)
"ok, I get it, I am going. This is crazy but I am going. One step at a time right?"
"Always"
Now don't think that I now feel like I have to, don't think I have been guilted into taking this trip. This is a trip I have been desiring to go on for years now, and I am so excited to go. But I think there is always that bit of selfishness that will run through me as I realize what being a missionary is going to cost me. I think just last night I realized that I will not really have a relationship with any of my brothers kids, and that really does kill me. I want to be in both places, I want to spend time with my family at Christmas, I want to go hike and zipline in Costa Rica, and I want to go to the ends of the World as a disciple of Jesus Christ. None of these are sining, but I know, because of the desires of my heart, which one will truly satisfy, and I CHOOSE that one. And so now I am sooo EXCITED to go. I am excited for the challenge, for the unknown, and for experiencing God in a brand new way.
