Missions: Uganda.... Why Me?

I have not taken the time to write out what we have been up to for the last week basically. I will probably do a short synopsis when I get home so I can add pictures with it, but basically we have been hanging out and loving on a bunch of kids and getting to know the missionary families and the vision that they have for GSF. But tonight, Christmas night, I have some different thoughts in my head. Some things that have been on my heart and in my prayers. 

I know we have all said it at some time or another.... Why Me? Why did I have to fail the test? Why did my car break down? Why did my phone drop in water or screen break? Why are my parents so strict? Why....? Typically we ask this question not really looking for the answer, but rather to give ourselves pity. About two weeks before leaving for Uganda I started asking this question a lot, but truly searching for an answer from God. It wasn't because of a series of "bad luck", but rather wondering why I got a plate full of blessings while others get so little. Some get very little when it comes to material possessions, others get very little when it comes to spiritual direction, others get very little in the quality of family they are raised in, and others get little in many other areas such as education, skills, or physical abilities. And so while being here I have been asking and searching for the answer of Why Me? Why did I get blessed with a family unit that not only loves each other and me, but also love God? Why did I get parents that work hard and have always been able to provide for our needs and many of our wants? Why was I born and raised in the United States where purely because of my birth place I am guaranteed a good education, clean water, electricity, quality healthcare, and the ability to go to any country? Why was I placed in two churches that have significantly improved the understanding I have of Christ as I have matured in my walk so that I have a personal relationship with Christ? There are so many other questions like these that are running through my brain right now and over the last few weeks. 

I still do not have all the answers but I feel like God is telling me to continue to search for an answer to these questions. That by answering these questions he will make known His plans for these blessings. There is a reason for each one, and there is also a reason for each person that was not given such simple circumstances. He reminds me that to whom much is given much is expected. Each of us have been given separate gifts we are to use for Kingdom glory, but we also have ach been given eternal life and for that a sacrifice of the lives we desire to live is expected. So right now I am pushing on in my fight to give up the desires of my flesh that will please me now in order to achieve the desires of the spirit of God within me that will please me for eternity. And so I will fight on and 

Live Foolishly

Rachel