Missions: Uganda... Flights Booked

We bought our plane tickets this week! After about a month of talking to John and his daughter Sarah we officially bought our 54 hours of travel from John F. Kennedy airport (New York) to Uganda and back... including a 9 hour layover in Italy.  

Ok I got a little excited; let me explain some of the stuff that has happened since I updated you last. So on September 30 I wrote about how I was wrestling about going to Uganda this year because it looked like I would be going by myself. I had conversations with my mother who definitely did not want me to go alone, some very good and wise friends, and did a ton of seeking the Lord. Anytime I was in the Word or listening to a sermon I felt the Lord nudging me to go, but just could not get peace about going alone. To be honest I was likely going to go alone, but I knew there were many people who did not like that especially my mother. Well one night I was talking to my mom about it, and I told her that I thought God still wanted me to go, she did not think it was wise so I told her that she should pray that either someone would go with me or I would have a sign that I was not suppose to go this year. Well on October 2 I got an email from John asking about flights/information for the group trip to Uganda. I emailed back saying well it is just me and I have not bought tickets for it, I was waiting for confirmation from God that I was suppose to go this year. From that point on I knew I was suppose to go and they were still praying about it (well John was, I am pretty sure Sarah was all in for going). Last Wednesday we talked about flights and were ready to book them when my mom text me saying “don’t book your ticket” Me: “Why” Mom: “Either dad or I are going to go” Me: “OK” thinking “really, you decided to tell me this now”. So my dad did his paperwork and turned it in we finalized the dates and today we booked our tickets. We will be leaving the day I finish my semester and return Monday December 30. There will be four of us traveling together: John and his daughter Sarah and my Dad and I.

Missions... Uganda?

So about two months ago I wrote a post on here about how excited I was about going to Uganda, and I still am. This past week I got notification that all of the other individual/couples that were planning on coming had backed out for one reason or another, so the group of 6 is now down to one (maybe two if my friend can come). I know I talk a big game most of the time, and I say I don't mind going by myself... but I am so much about peace, and I do not have that about going on this trip alone. There are two contradicting thought processes going through my head: "put faith and action behind your words" and "foolishness is not always obedience". The thing is I feel like either of these thought processes could be from God, but they could also each be from Satan.

Put Faith and Action Behind Your Words
Almost a year ago I wrote a post titled  "Safe and Secure" which if you don't want to read it is about my desire to depend on Christ as my protector and provider. Well now that I am in this trip alone, and I needed to put off buying the ticket for a time of prayer to determine if this is the correct decision the cost has increased about $1000. The secure aspect of it seems silly to me even though as I write this I believe the lies that some man can cause me harm without the Lord's approval. I am not saying that nothing bad will happen because I am a daughter of the King, but I am saying that anything that does happen in the future is not for me to be anxious about, but for me to trust that through God he will make good from all circumstances. My God is a big God, he WILL protect me and he CAN keep me safe, but protection and safety are not the same thing. So now I look at the possibility of going to Uganda this year by myself as an opportunity to prove to myself that I have faith that God is truly my protector and provider.

Foolishness is Not Always Obedience
My life motto and the title of this blog comes from the idea that God did not call me to live in a way that makes sense to myself or those around me, but to live in a way that undoubtedly shouts the power of my God who can do so much more than I can alone... Live Foolishly. But when the choices we make are not prayerfully and wisely considered the decisions can quickly turn into truly foolish choices. It's no secret that I don't want to live a simple life. I don't want the American dream. I don't dream about my husband, my house, my job, or the "toys" I could have. I dream about an orphanage, a village where I am a foreigner, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and giving a home to the orphan. I do not say that to "toot my own horn", it has taken a long time for God to change my heart, but now sometimes I try to dive into these plans without stopping to seek the Lords plan. Instead I see opportunities that are righteous and determine that it is from God because it would lead me towards the plans God has given me. So now with so many things going "wrong" I have to prayerfully determine if these changes in the plan are for God to use it as proof of my faith, or if it is a time for God to remind me that even in opportunities that are to serve others, that if he does not send me the work will not be blessed in the way He wishes to bless His plans for me.

Please Help
So now I have been trying to determine what God's plan for all of this is. Is he asking me to wait it out a little longer, is he asking me to go with full faith that he will protect and provide in my vulnerability, or is he asking me to do something different during that time that I am still unaware of? I don't know, but I know His peace when I have made a decision that aligns with his plan and I also know the restlessness I have without that peace. So I ask you all for prayer and if you feel led to provide counsel that is greatly appreciated.

Thank you all for your love and support and always
LIVE FOOLISHLY