Sunsets

I get a lot of eye rolls for my love of sunsets. For a girl that breaks just about every "girly" stereotype... I LOVE sunsets. Yes they are beautiful... but they are so much more than that. They are constant. They are always the same and yet different each day depending on where you see them from. I have seen sunsets in Arkansas from a big field that makes the sun look HUGE, on the lake with a beautiful reflection, in the mountains of colorado as it blinds me on the snow, from a rooftop parking garage in college and rooftop pavilion in Haiti, I have watched the sunset behind the smoke of wild fires in California and Oregon, on a long trek in New Zealand, temples in Thailand and Japan, and of course my personal favorite from the beaches of Haiti as it dances across the waves and sets behind the clouds of that days rain. Every single day the sun does the same thing... it does not change, it does not get smaller, larger, or brighter. And yet everyday it looks different.



As I enter into this season of life of missions I need these sunsets. When I tell people I am live in Haiti they immediately ask about safety, electricity, and other daily inconveniences. That is not the hard part. The hard part is the loneliness. I LOVE Haiti and I am so excited for what God has called me to do here... I am so thankful that I have never known the daily struggle of mental health disorders, but I have felt myself tip that way in my longer stints in Haiti. This starts to scare me... so I try to make myself busier, but that does not fix it... and it does not make my ministry more effective. As I process my trip in February I realize that the Lord was working and teaching me to embrace the loneliness and grieve that. He was asking me to realize that another country, culture, economy, and people is a beautiful thing, but that it creates a loneliness that very few other people understand. They don't understand my frustrations, they don't see the tears over the unfairness of life, and I can't ever really express that. I can't tell you all how I feel about so many things because it makes me appear jaded and prideful and hypocritical. I am all of those things, but that is not my heart behind my tears and frustrations. I know that is how it comes off because that is how it came off to me. How does this relate to sun sets? Stick with me I am getting there.

As sadness or joy, frustration or victories come I often crave to see a sunset. It is where I sit with the Lord and tell Him these things. I am reminded that the Son is like the sun. He is not moving or changing. He is the same at all times... but our heart, our culture, our circumstances change our view of him. He is there behind the stormy clouds of sickness and death and of how beautiful is a sunset just after the storm. He peaks through the clouds of loneliness, depression, defeat, guilt, and grief. He dances on the waters as we take a break to just sit with him in the sand or on a boat. He is BRIGHT as we watch Him from the highest mountain on a clear day of victories, celebration, and joy. He is there... and I have to remind myself that every light I see is because the Son in there. If I am in a valley with dark storm clouds the sun is still there and so is my God. I love that when the Son was crucified the Bible speaks of the earth going dark... that God hid the sun because He knew the LIGHT was hidden for a while as he went into war against SIN AND DEATH. Oh but we are so thankful that the victory was won and we no longer have to fear darkness because the Son is always there... even when we can not see Him.

So as I sit here watching my first sunset with Haiti as my primary residence I just take some time to sit with Him and talk to Him through my hopes, expectations, fears, and insecurities in this new life. I pray that I would appreciate the grace given to me as I navigate this new adventure and pray that my naive spirit would be diminished and my mistakes forgotten. I pray that His spirit and love is what people experience and remember, because I know I am not perfect... but I pray that He would choose to reflect His light off me to show others another "view" of himself. Please pray WITH me that I would sit with Him often enough and long enough to only do what He has called me to do here. Also I ask that you pray FOR me that I would either meet others that I can connect with during this transition and/or experience His love and completeness in a way that overcomes my loneliness and insecurities.

^Live Foolishly
Rachel

Yo Kapab (they can)

Today was a special day, an amazing day. We are taking 8 students (3rd year PT and OT students) to the local “public” hospital this week and next. We have primarily worked with 4 patients during these two days. One patient is an older gentleman, we will call him Jean, whom suffered a gunshot wound. Following the students' initial evaluation the patient was found to have no movement below the waist and post op abdominal surgery. The surgeon came in shortly after and kindly spoke with us about the patient. When he and I were talking he said to me “I don’t think he needs to be here (ortho floor) anymore, I think he should transfer to neuro bc maybe he has a spinal cord injury from the gunshot but we don’t know.” Long story short we went in and sat the patient as the edge of the bed for the first time after his surgery 10 days ago and he was a little dizzy and VERY weak. He had not moved fromlaying on his back, however the nurses had done a good job of preventing pressure sores/ulcers.

When we came in the next morning we were informed that the patient was being discharged. The family had not been taught ANYTHING. No positioning, no transfers, no catheter changes, no infection precautions. NOTHING. So we began to work with the students on educating the family and getting the family involved in transfers and planned to teach the family to transfer Jean to a wheelchair (even though they did not have the money to purchase one) and some other basic spinal cord injury education. We started to discuss it and they were talking about how surgeons get tunnel visioned on their one issue and will sometimes discharge patients not understanding everything. I voiced what he had said to me and then the ball started to roll….

The nurses called the doctor and he confirmed that he did feel he needed to be transferred to the neuro unit but that the doctor on call would have to make that decision. When the doctor arrived he “conferenced” with one of our PT students and a nursing student that had been fantastic in caring for the patient as well (the photo above). They advocated for the patient and the doctor AGREED that the patient should stay on the neuro unit. They also talked to the director and he interviewed the family to determine if they needed a wheelchair without paying. The option also came up for him to go to an inpatient rehab center, which is still in progress as to if that will happen.

I was amazed and started to tear up thinking how these students are changing this country starting with that man. They are doing it respectfully and dignified. They are doing it by working TOGETHER as a healthcare TEAM. They are doing it because they care about their patients. It is a long road ahead, but THEY ARE DOING IT!!! I was so proud to be part of FSRL/FSIL today. That man would have likely laid in a bed at his home, never moving, and had no quality of life if these students (PT/OT/nursing) were not there. He would have likely died in the next 3-6 months due to wound infection, pressure sores, pneumonia, or some other related illness secondary to his apparent spinal cord injury…. But now he will have some time and physical/occupational therapy to live a better quality and more dignified life. This profession of physical therapy that I get to call a job will always give me pride because I get to watch peoples lives change. Because I beleive that quality of life is as important to a person as actual life.

Today was refreshing and I am so excited to see rehab professions become a more common part of the healthcare team as it demonstrates progress in Haiti from pure survival to giving quality of life to the patient and family through respect, dignity, and improving independence.

^Live Foolishly
Rachel